I wrote this awhile back in thinking about what I want for my child’s education and the environment he is in all day. School is such a huge part of a child’s life-so much time spent there. Of course I have expectations for my second-born as well, but this was with my firstborn son with Down Syndrome in mind. Here is what I came up with:
1) I expect my child to be considered as much a voice and a student as any other kid. This means even if he is there part of the day, he needs a place to sit-and kids should know who he is. I have heard this story going around the internet that a boy at open house kept asking where his nametag was. So sad! I have also heard parents being similarly left out at open house situations. This is NOT ok.
2) I expect my child to be spoken to, not about as much as possible and for this to be instilled in peers.
3) I expect that if peers are treating my child like a baby that you as the teacher remind the student that “he can do that himself” or “he is too old for you to talk to hi that way.” (and yes, that second topic may require you to have a conversation with the student privately.) I am not satisfied with the notion that people can baby talk, lift/carry, or over-assist my child all they want so long as they aren’t bullying. I’m thrilled if the kids are nice, but I am raising my son to grow up as a 5, 6, 7 year old part of the school and community. I want him to learn , mature, and grow independent-all of which are harder for him than the other kids. He doesn’t need an excuse to slack off or become confused in his role.
4) When we as a family do have concerns or requests, I expect to be heard, not be treated like a burden or pest. I should not have to apologize. I didn’t create the hurdles and neither did you. Our job is to work tougher to help my child have a “level playing field” with others.
5) I expect open communication.
6) I expect you will get frustrated with my child like I sometimes do. That’s ok. Just don’t give up on him, please! We so appreciate you, teachers!
7) I expect you to try to understand my child. He has major speech delays, yes. But there’s so much he does say and you can unlock so much more to help him learn if you take the tie to listen and ask me what things he does and says often mean. HE signs, he says parts of words, whole words, gestures. HE has a PECS book.
8) Also, I expect you will help him communicate with peers. They are all each other’s “teachers” too after all, aren’t they?
9) I expect you to tell me what you need from me to help you be able to teach well. I know your job is overwhelming and me telling you what I expect may amake you want to roll your eyes (hopefully not but depending on the day-maybe so!)
10) I expect you to try. I ‘m not going to barrel into a parent teacher conference making accusations because my child isn’t writing or reading yet. There are SO many factors at play for kids with special needs, I know that. All we ask is you try. Love, Ethan’s parents