I have not made it all the way through, or even to the third trimester, of my 2nd pregnancy. So I’m mainly writing this for fun, not so much because I think I know all there is to know so far about how expecting a second child differs from the first.
My son is asleep (finally) in the hospital with pneumonia so I needed something to do! This has been on my mind lately-how different it is so far to expect the 2nd vs. first child during pregnancy.
1)First, we actually were taken off-guard by this pregnancy, which I’m sure is common with many pregnancies after the first-born! We had been trying a few months prior, but we had two miscarriages so we had intended to stop trying awhile, so this one was a surprise.
2) It is just all around harder to keep up with the fitness and healthy eating I want to do. I am taking care of myself, but life is just different when you already have a kid! I haven’t been able to do as much the past couple of weeks with my kid being sick.
3) Nesting looks more like taking things out of storage, trying to remember where things were, and downsizing our apartment to fit a family of four. (Maybe I’ll do a post on managing a baby/family of four and room-sharing with two kids, one being an infant. We are going to have to get a minicrib because the crib/changing table combo we had for our first will not fit in our room. )
4)For me, in addition to trying to get in those last “only child” fun times before baby arrives, I’m trying to get some things together for Ethan’s pre-reading skills .
5)Also, there’s not quite as much planning and registering with the second since we already have so much from the first (Although we do need a few new things that need replacing and we need girl clothes!) Since this baby doesn’t have her own room, there is also no nursery to get ready so that makes it feel weird, like “What do I do with my nesting urges?” haha Some of that is taking care of itself because again, it gets pretty busy with the one kid. 😉
6) We have so much going on with the current kid, that we don’t really talk (and maybe not think about) the second baby as much. I feel kind of bad saying it, but I think its honest and probably true of many parents out there expecting their second, third, fourth, etc.. Of course, I think about and cherish her like my first, but the first is already here making his demands on purpose or without meaning to (again with the sicknesses and other needs that come up that he cannot control.)
7) Instead of wondering what it will be like to have a child and to be a mother, I am thinking of how we will manage the two and imagine myself alone with the two with all their needs. I go back and forth thinking of ways I will need to give time and attention to my first child because I want to reassure him he is just as important to us as the new, dependent infant. On the other hand, I also try to think on ways to be sure we give the newborn attention because she won’t be talking, performing, and so forth. So already, all these different less pinterest and “the bump.com” type thoughts and daydreams with the second pregnancy.
8) I think you become more of a practical thinker with the second baby and therefore the second pregnancy. The same people who may have purchased a glowing lullaby globe for the ceiling the first time or boogie wipes with the first child may settle for buying or registering (if you even do a registry for baby #2) things we all learned are more essential like diapers and sleepers. I know I’m expecting to need lots of clothes meant to be comfy and for sleeping with this next baby, although I will gladly accept and buy cutesy girly things as well, being my first daughter and all. 😉
9) Since I have now witnessed the money-saver and satisfaction that is consignment clothing, as I think on what I will purchase right before or sometime after this baby is born to get what I’m lacking, my mind is more tuned to when those consignment sales will be rather than heading for the full-priced items at Dillards or Target!
10) Guess I should make it an even 10, right? There is an added excitement and dimension to this pregnancy because I am happy to be providing two kids with what I hope will be some of their most treasured relationshipss-siblings.