“Scream”

8 Months Old sleeping in PICU

8 Months Old sleeping in PICU

Just want to scream sometimes,
But that’s what unstable people do, right?
Do you ever get tired of having to be stable?
I do.

Can I just get a pillow or an empty forest?
Something to throw when I’m sick of this scene?
Have you ever had a place that you owe something to-
but you want to wail on its very walls at the same time?

Tell the people inside to just leave you alone-
let me take myself, my kid,
and just go? Yet, you can’t.
Just want to stop the effort, the worry,
and go be “normal”
for awhile,
whatever that means.

So then I scream out to God-
And His answer is the same as before, calm.
Unchanging, saying

“I am here.
I have a plan
And its okay now,
to scream.

Lean on me, quit trying
so hard and let me.
I know what it means to scream, too.”

I wrote this when reflecting on some times in my recent life, in the past few years. Who would like to guess what the inspiration was, what times they were? 🙂 Thankfully, the times I feel like “screaming” are not all that often. But they happen. And I thought some others could relate. Everyone feels like this sometime if we are honest with ourselves.

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